The Deal
by CleomenesBunny
Summary: Everyone thinks Lord Tubbington is the perfect feline friend especially Brittany, but Santana knew better.


A/N: Disclaimer; I own noootttthhhiiinnnngggg, Another one shot, you just totally know that Santana and LT hate each other really and they're just being nice for Brittany's sake :P Enjoy! CB x

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The Deal

**Everyone thinks Lord Tubbington is the perfect feline friend especially Brittany, but Santana knew better.**

Santana sighed, this was the life, what could be better than snuggling up next to the most perfect human being on the planet, who somehow manages to put up with all her crap and find it cute and still want to have sweet ladies kisses and cuddles at the end of every day?

Nothing that's what, nothing could be better.

Curling further into Brittany, Santana rested her head in the crook of Brittany's neck, her hand moving to Brittany's wrist, gently drawing patterns along the smooth skin, nails scratching back and forth every now and again.

This was awesome.

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Santana had no idea what movie was on, heck were they even watching a movie? or was it a series? Pshh whatever, it could be the freaking news telling her that the world was going to end with a meteorite hitting earth; destroying all of mankind and she still wouldn't care.

This would be the way she wanted to go thought, Sweet lady kisses on the couch...and then some.

Brittany squeezed her ass, squealing quietly Santana got her head back in the moment, yeah like a meteorite was going to happen. She moved her neck to the side, giving her girlfriend more access to her supple skin, finding her pulse point Brittany started to suck hard on her skin.

That was going to leave a mark, whatever that's what make up is for and I can so pull of a hicky if I wanted to.

Brittany's hands moved back to Santana's bare back, they lost their shirts a while ago...and their pants, Santana smiled, pulling Brittany back to her mouth, this is only going to get better.

She had to jinx it, idiot!

"Arghhhh" Santana shouted, pulling away from Brittany, nearly throwing the girl off her as she pulled her legs up and away from whatever just scratched the shit out of her leg.

Brittany threw a pout at her but Santana hadn't seen it as she was too focused on what was at the end of the couch, the bane of her existence.

Lord Fucking Tubbington.

Hissing Lord Tubbington moved up the couch, purposely standing on Santana when the opportunity arose, he threw a look at Santana, she could tell it was one of disgust, but he was back looking at Brittany flicking his tail acting like the 'ray of sunshine' everyone thought he was.

Santana knew better.

He purred gently and that was all it took for Brittany to beam down to her cat and pick him up, shuffling as she tried to balance out his weight.

Stupid fat cat

"Look Santana it's Lord Tubbington, say hello, he's been on the run from the police for while, but don't worry it was a case of mistaken identity, it was actually that tabby from down the road, you know the one with the one eye? Yeah he's trouble",

Santana smiled; yeah she knew about the tabby, she was pretty sure that LT was the one that made him lose the eye though, that tabby was normal till it took Lord Tubbington's mouse toy.

Brittany pushed the mog in Santana's direction, practically making her kiss the stupid cat, Santana wanted to roll her eyes but she knew how this worked, she put on her mask, this shit was about to get real.

"Hey Hey Tubbs, how you doing? You lost a little weight? Looking a little slim their sweetie" Brittany didn't notice the subtle dig at Lord Tubbington's weight, she took it at face value, Lord Tubbington on the other hand, if looks could kill Santana was about to find out if there is a heaven.

There had better be dancing blondes up there.

"He so looks so much thinner babe, it's that new diet he's been on, Atkins, it totally works but I'm worried about when he come back off it, the weight is just going to go pile back on you know and I want to keep his new bikini body" Brittany pouted, Santana smirked, she'd seen the bikini Britt had bought for Tubbs, she couldn't wait to take pictures of that, blackmail for life.

Santana watched on as Brittany cooed and cuddled Lord Tubbington, forcing a scowl of her face as she watched that evil ass cat cuddle into her girlfriend,

Where was the Santana love?

"Aww Tubb's look at you so skinny, you deserve a treat, that's not going to hurt his diet is it Santana? Just one kitty treat right? He's just been so good and understanding" Brittany pouted at Santana, even if Santana was serious about Tubb's diet she could never say no to that face, she just nodded, eye's still locked with those beautiful blue's.

Gorgeous.

"awesome, I'm going to find them, I had to hide them from him cause it's always tough when we start these diets, but you know as soon as we hit day three we're all good" she threw Santana one of her killer smiles before placing Lord Tubbington in Santana's arms "hold on to Lord T for me please, watch out he's been a little cranky since I made him quite smoking too"

"A diet and no smoking, why Tubb's is practically going to be a new cat soon Britt Britt" Santana said as cheerfully as she could, carefully placing her arms around the cat,

"I know, I barley recognise him anymore, Charity is going to get a shock when she comes back from her travels, it's taking longer than she thought since she crashed my last car"

Brittany bounced up and off the couch, walking toward the kitchen "back in a sec"; Santana and Lord Tubbington followed her with their eyes out of the room, Santana tilting her head slightly as she watched her practically naked girlfriend glide out the room, so hot.

Brittany was barely out of the room before it all changed; quick as he could Lord Tubbington had his claws out and straight into Santana's arms, head whipping down to bite her hand, quicker than him she managed to move her hand out of the way, the cat head butting her stomach instead.

Santana growled at him, whispering quietly, eye's flicking back to the kitchen "hey hey, what's the problem Tubb's? We had a freaking deal! What's with the attitude?" he just lazily crawled off her and onto the top of the couch, flicking his tail in her face as he went, she swotted it out of the way, glaring at his retreating figure.

"so not done talking to you!" he turned round and looked at he, a bored expression on his face, he paused thought, Santana believed Brittany when she said LT could understand them, he was so sneaky and two faced, she helped Brittany hide her diary now, stuff in their got a little R rated and she didn't want him reading about their sexy times,

perv.

"Okay what's the deal? You know the arrangement, you stay out of my way when I'm around so me and Britt Britt can get it on and I sneak you your smokes, the good kind might I add, you're not cheap to bribe and do you know what would happen if Brittany found out I was sneaking you those when you're meant to be quitting! No sexy time for Snix, I need sexy times and you're not going to be the reason I don't get it, so imma ask again, what's your problem?"

She crossed he arms over her chest, she was pretty sure he rolled his eyes at her; he turned to face her properly, sitting down, waiting.

"Okay okay, what's changed? This deal worked perfectly for both of us, you stayed out my way so I don't insult your fat ass all the time and you don't get in mine and Brittany's way and you get smokes for it and we put on a civil front for Brittany so neither of us end up in the dog house... or cat house, whatever"

Santana glowered at him, he flicked his eyes back to the kitchen door and then to Santana before moving of the back of the couch and onto Santana's stomach again, tilting his head slightly when finished.

Santana huffed, she was too weak "what's it going to take to make our arrangement go back in place?"

He shuffled forward a little, his claws pushing gently into her skin

"Okay how about a pack a week? Instead of one every two weeks? Huh? This sound good to you? Hell I'll even throw in some cat nip, I know a guy" she added,

"Arghhhh" nope he didn't like that, fuck those claws were sharp, she needed to find away to cut those things down, maybe some chloroform would help with that? She knew a guy for that too.

"Okay okay, get your busted ass claws out my arm" he pushed harder a little before retracting them, pointedly looking at her

She gritted her teeth "fine" she bit out "one pack a week, cat nip and how about one of my cigars? You can't say no to that deal"

Apparently he could, his claws back in her before he could even think about it, nope okay he didn't like that either.

Santana scrunched her nose up, okay she was going to have to bring out the big guns "alright alright, I know what this is going to take, one pack a week, cat nip on demand, one of my dad's cigars and you're personal favourite, wait for it... fondue once every two weeks, you're still on a diet so it isn't getting anything better than that!"

She paused, no pain, that was a good sign right?

She could tell he was thinking about it, his eyes slightly closed, head tilted up and to the side, she knew she had him at fondue, it was just a waiting game now.

His eyes opened lazily and she watched as he locked eye's with her lazily, giving her a gentle nod of his head; she rolled her eyes at him, not impressed.

"You're getting expensive" she muttered, stupid cat.

She's pretty sure that if a cat could smirk and lord Tubbington would be the one to do it he would be smirking right now, meh he thinks he's got the better deal, yeah he's going to be pricey to keep quiet and out the way but time with Brittany was priceless, especially alone time.

"Hey" Santana looked up to see Brittany walking in without any cat treats, good he doesn't deserve any, she reached out and placed an arm round Lord Tubbington, got to keep up the act, happy family's and all

"Sorry I took so long, I hid them too well, even I can't find them" she was frowning, Santana didn't like that, so she beckoned Brittany over so she could kiss it away.

Lord Tubbington seemed to have had enough and turned back at Santana, this was it, was he going to keep up his end of the deal?

She had to stop herself from throwing him of her when he waddled up to her neck, making a show of rubbing into her, she quietly whispered to him

"I hope you get lung cancer" before he was off the couch and walking out the room, not even a glance back to them.

Santana didn't have time to think about him any more before Brittany was on her, literally.

"I love that you and Lord Tubbington get along so well, I knew you would be the best of friends" she traced a pattern on Santana's stomach lightly, she paused before purring softly into Santana's ear "so where were we?"

This got Santana's full attention, ohh yeah something about kissing a frown away, and when that was done it would be rude not to continue right?

So rude.

"Ohh I'm sure we can think of something" she husked out

Best. Night. Ever.

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Thanks for reading! CB x


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